


Hank Hill vs Double D

by Big_Boy_Writer



Series: Hank Hill vs [3]
Category: Ed Edd n Eddy, King of the Hill
Genre: Battle, Bwaaaa, Comedy, Ejaculate, Epic Fail, Humor, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Porn Watching, Propane, School, School Shootings, Shooting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 16:04:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20509721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Big_Boy_Writer/pseuds/Big_Boy_Writer
Summary: Thing's take a weird turn for Hank when he is invited to speak in front of a class.





	Hank Hill vs Double D

[ ](https://imgur.com/ypWDdtU)

It was a calm fap happy day for Edd. He was in the middle of class with everyone, happily listening to their guest speaker, Hank Hill. Hank was explaining the importance of Propane to the students.

“Now ya see class, Propain is one of the most important resources available to modern man. So important in fact that I managed to convince a group of crackheads to change their lives for the better using nothing but good old American propane. Thanks to propane, they are currently leading their third consecutive Crusade against all that use charcoal.” 

While writing down the notes, however, he couldn’t help but think about his favorite waifu.

“Ohh Alessandra, Teach me the ways of sexual education! I've been a good boy!” Edd hornily said to himself.

He stopped working and pulled out a picture of Alessandra. She was a very hot Philipino woman and wore a slutty teacher outfit. He couldn't fight his need to jerk off and pulled his cock out. 

Eddy and Sara noticed but said nothing. When he started to masturbate, more people noticed him. They still said nothing and tried their best to ignore it. This wasn't the first time Edd had done this.

After a few more minutes, Edd started to moan very loudly. The whole class now knew he was masturbating. This included the Kanker sisters. The only one that hadn't yet noticed was Hank. 

As Edd continued to masturbate to Alessandra, Marie started to crawl under his desk. She crawled up close to him and watched in lust as he jerked off. She knew that he would cum soon. 

As expected, Edd was about to reach his climax. Just as he was about to cum, Marie put Edds dick in her mouth. All of his cum shot in her mouth, while Marie swallowed it. 

Edd stood up and looked down in shock. Marie had ruined his fantasy. 

“You filthy 3D!”

The entire class erupted in laughter, while Marie swallowed the last of his cum. Hank snapped out of his Propane trance to see what was happening. The first thing he noticed was Edd standing up with his dick hanging out.

“Bwaaa! What are ya doing boy?! Is this some kinda joke?

Double D looked around as everyone laughed. 

“How dare you all laugh at me! I was only trying to live out my fantasy of being with Alessandra! But then, she had to ruin it! You have pushed me too far, and I need to take action!”

Double D reached into his backpack and pulled out an Uzi. Everyone stopped laughing when Edd pointed the gun right at Marie's head. 

“You have robbed me of my well-deserved orgasm, and for that, you must DIE!!!!” 

Hank's eyes shot open.

“BWWWAAAAA!!! NOOOOO!!!” Hank yelled as he frantically looked around for something to throw. 

Marie froze in shock as Double D was about to pull the trigger. Right before he could though, Edd was hit directly in the head by a small propane tank. 

As Edd stumbled back in pain, he accidentally fired off his entire clip all around the classroom. No one got hit, but everyone was scared shitless. 

“OH NO! HE BROUGHT LIVE ROUNDS THIS TIME!!!” Eddy yelled.

The students all panicked and ran out of the class as fast as they could. Hank Hill stayed behind to make sure Double D didn't get out of the classroom. With the students all cleared out, Hank rushed towards Double D. 

As Double D recovered from the hit, he was tackled to the ground by Hank. Hank took Double Ds gun away and held him to the ground. Double D struggled but couldn't get away from Hank.

“Dammit boy, you just ruined your life! What were you thinking!?”

Double D stopped struggling and stared directly into Hank's eyes.

“IT’S LOVE, YOU OLD MAN!!! YOU’LL NEVER UNDERSTAND!!!”

With a sudden burst of strength, Edd threw Hank off. Hank was thrown into a few desks but was fine. Edd quickly grabbed his gun and put a new clip in. Hank stood up as fast as he could but realized he was too late as he saw Edd pointing the gun at him.

“YOU ALL LAUGH BUT MY LOVE FOR ALESSANDRA IS PURE!!!”

Hank quickly ducked behind a knocked over desk while Double D unloaded another clip. Doubles Ds shots were very sporadic and most didn't even hit the desk. Hank watched as bullet holes surrounded him.

"This boy ain't right…"

Edd reached for another clip but realized he had none left. This caused him to have a mini panic attack.

"No! NOOO! How will I kill all who laugh at my true love without bullets!!!"

Hank peeked from behind the desk and saw Double D was crying while touching himself. Hank knew what had to be done.

"That's it. I'm kicking your ass!!!" 

Double D snapped out of his panic attack.

“No please don't! I’m fragile!”

Hank gave no shits and proceeded to punch Double D directly in his stomach. Double D fell to the ground and started to cough. Hank wasn't finished yet though.

“There’s only ONE way to make sure you learn your lesson!”

Hank grabbed Double Ds head with both of his hands and kneed him directly in the nose. Blood sprayed all over as Double D was knocked into the wall behind him. If the kneeing didn't knock him out then hitting the back of his head on the wall did.

“...I kicked your ass boy.”

With that, Hank heroicly walked out of the classroom. He would later call the police to report on Double Ds failed school shooting attempt. They laughed and told Hank that Edd would be placed in a cell with Big Bubba.

The other students would go onto join the Cu- Church of Propane. Hank's heroic actions were more than enough to convince them of God's favorite way of cooking. Merica.

Also, Alessandra doesn't exist, so Edd is now taking it in the butt for nothing.

The End

**Author's Note:**

> I tell ya h'what


End file.
